The words that shaped my childhood
If you grew up in a home where emotions weren’t respected or understood, what I’m about to share may hit close to home.
My parents were born in the 1960’s-70’s.
Back then, nobody was talking about emotional intelligence, mental health, or attachment.
My parents didn’t know how to communicate.
So when they were overwhelmed, frustrated, or scared, it came out in one of three ways:
Silence.
Threats.
Or commands.
I remember hearing:
- “Shut up.”
- “Get out of my face.”
- “Go to your room.”
Those words shaped me.
Not just how I saw them,
but how I saw myself.
I grew up thinking:
- “I’m annoying.
- My voice doesn’t matter.
- It's better handle things on my own.
It took me years to learn that I was worthy.
That I wasn’t a burden.
That I didn’t have to earn love by doing everything perfectly.
And even though I’ve healed a lot,
there’s still a cost.
I love my parents.
But we don’t have a close emotional bond and probably never will.
Because when a child is repeatedly told:
“Shut up.”
They eventually do.
Not just in the moment,
but for life.
That’s why I do this work now.
I believe proactive parenting is the ounce of prevention that saves a pound of regret.
Reactive parenting is trying to fix emotional damage after it’s already happened.
Proactive parenting is preventing damage before it has a chance to form.
Most parents don’t struggle because they’re bad people.
They struggle because they don’t have a plan.
That’s why I created The Proactive Parent Program:
to give parents a roadmap to build connection, reduce conflict, and honor their child’s personality.
Not because it guarantees perfection,
but because something is always better than nothing.
Think about driving in heavy rain.
You may not see perfectly,
but you have tools that help you navigate.
Windshield wipers.
Headlights.
Brake lights from the car in front of you.
Imagine trying to drive with your eyes closed instead.
Parenting without a plan is like driving blind.
This program is the tool that helps you see, understand your child, and prepare for predictable challenges.
I recorded a short video where I go deeper into this mission.
I talk about why our world has changed, and why trial-and-error parenting is no longer an option.
👉 [Watch the Video Here]
I think it will connect a lot of dots for you.
Talk to you soon,
Devin Trent
 P.S. If this hit home for you, reply and tell me one phrase you heard growing up that you never want your child to hear
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(This email is part of The Proactive Parent Program)
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